public school rant

edited to add: i'm a big putz and got so pissed for nothing. I knew i should have waited to hear the other side of the story. Normally i love portia's teacher and she totally understands portia and her temper.....but of course i let portia play me. she does this with us parental units too. *sigh* i am weak.

apparently portia told the teacher that i didn't have a car, money or the time to go buy shoes! yeah that totally sounds like my little horned devil. :) i had asked her to wait until the weekend to get shoes so that chris could drive us and that is why she told the teacher that.

gripes i am so pissed right now. portia came home yesterday and said that her teacher "warned" her about wearing her soft shoes to school. she said portia needed to wear tennis shoes to school. what a fucking tool......did you overlook the fact that her toe is badly sprained and wrapped so she can't cram her foot into a tennis shoe??!!

so i called the teacher yesterday and got her voicemail, i left a message asking her to return my call, of course she didn't. so today she took portia to the vice principals office and told her to call home so i could bring her a pair of shoes. portia told them that chris had the car today so i couldn't drive up there and they told her that if she came back to school on tuesday (mon is a holiday) with the same shoes she would have to call me to bring regular shoes. WTF!

so when she got home and told me that i was so fucking mad i immediately called the teacher.....guess what voicemail again. today was only a half day. so i leave another message and then call the front office to speak with the principal........again i get voicemail. so i called again and asked the chickie answering the phone if he was gone for the day. she said no but he was probably away from his desk and she took a message. so far i have not heard anything back from either one of them.

geez it's not like she took a fucking weapon to school. instead of focusing on the tiny issues like shoes they should be putting more effort into improving the school in other ways. how very big of two adults ganging up on an 8 year old about what shoes she is wearing instead of dealing with some of the bigger issues.......like some of the bullying that goes on in the school.

just recently two children told portia she was cursed and was gonna go to hell because she didn't attend church........hello when did p.s. become a church recruitment center?

i already have serious issues with sending my children to p.s. and stupid little things like this don't help at all. i plan on telling that principal that i am having serious thoughts about pulling my kids from p.s. and homeschooling them again. let them lose funding for 2 more kids.

i thought about typing up emails to them but i want to wait and hear their sides of the story first. probably some assinine rule about soft shoes being a liability. what's the difference between soft shoes and totally exposed flip flops........which by the way are supposed to be against the rules but most of the kids wear them anyway.

*deep breath.....positive energy* i need to cool down before they finally call back or else the blood bath will be huge. :)

resin & clay

I just popped some resin out of the molds. i worked on these last night while i was watching driving miss daisy. I haven't sanded, drilled or glazed the resin yet. I have sanded some of the clay and most of them had holes before baking, they need glazing too.

These are resin duds. lol who knew the pills would float?? this is how i do a lot of my pieces....i try it and if it works great and if it doesn't oh well. i have a big ziploc bag of duds.



This is the only one that i was able to salvage.......i gently coaxed the pills down while the resin was setting up. yah gently coaxed means i shoved the crap out of them with a stick. :)



These worked out really great BUT another lesson was learned. I usually apply the ring backs after the resin is set and i have sanded & glazed. Well this time i thought why not imbed the ring backs into the resin. not happy with the results because now when i try to sand the edges to make them neat i have to be super careful not to hit the ring and scratch it up. so i think these are going to be freebies to marina's friends.




Bucket o' sushi and fortune cookies. These are polymer clay and have been waiting for a while to be sanded & glazed. I love creating the pieces but then i get lazy about finishing them up. The tedious part of sanding, drilling & glazing just gets boring and i end up with stuff sitting around waiting for some attention. chris just loves this about me.......umm not really it drives him nuts.

when he starts something it must be finished or it eats at him and he becomes a total grump. how can he love such a slacker? :)



more random resin pieces that will be sanded, drilled and glazed today.......i hope.







Yesterday i spend the day busting my butt cleaning up the house. I have totally let it just get so scary around here that it was making chris crazy. he didn't say anything but i can totally tell when something is bothering him cause he does not hide it as well as he thinks he does.

so i asked him what was bothering him so much, at first he wouldn't tell me but i kept bugging him and finally got him to crack. i'm so good at being a pest. ;) so i felt awful cause i know i haven't been keeping up with the house the way i used to and he knows why and totally understands but it still bothers him to have the house messy. most of the time he will clean up but he has been so busy at work lately that it's just gotten way behind. so i decided to try and help out as much as i could.

i was totally surprised that once i got started i could not stop myself........it felt like the old roni and now my house is so clean and sparkly. he was so happy when he got home he hugged & kissed me like a million times and kept telling me thanks. but the best part was when he said "i can't hug & kiss you enough to show you how much i appreciate what you did today"

of course i'm paying for it today but that's okay cause it was soooo worth it. :)

so i will step away now and actually try to get some crafting work done.

it's not broken yay!!

It was expensive and took forever at the hospital but we finally heard back from the doctors office and there is no break. I was loosing my mind in the hospital they took freaking forever to call us back and they had the temp in the room at 30 below.............okay maybe not that cold but it sure as hell felt like it. The bruise looks horrible, i need to take a picture of it today when she gets home.

Got a funny story to share. I can't remember whether or not my parents read this blog. So just in case they do dad you will want to skip right over this next part. :) Mom i know you can handle it and get a really good laugh. :)

So anyway on Saturday i was in my room and had a movie on while i was working. Jewel and portia wanted to come in an watch it while i worked...........sure no problem. They are laying on the bed watching and i left the room to go grab something downstairs. Chris is in the gameroom toking on the crack pipe.........his choice of words for playing a game. I come back upstairs and walk into our room and there are the kids laying on the bed with my vibrator. LOL We keep it in our goodie drawer in the nightstand and they were being nosy.

they just thought it was the coolest thing ever and had all sorts of questions. Why is it shaped like a flashlight? can we play with it cause it tickles our bellies? is it a massager? can we plleeaassee keep it? so i had to say no and tell them it was especially for me. why what's it for? it's meant for masturbating. Portia who is almost 9........what's masturbating? Jewel who is almost 11........EWWWWW i touched it. so i tell her not to worry i always clean it off after every use. :) then i had to explain masturbation to portia. with all the giggles and ewww mommy.

i know my dad can't handle that because once while jewel was visiting with my parents she saw a commercial for erectile dysfunction and asked my father what that meant. My mom said he choked and barked "ask your mommy when you go home" lol my parents didn't discuss these kinds of things with me and my brother............ya know they were old school..........if we had asked they would have told us masturbation was insurance that you would go straight to hell.....right after you were struck down by lightning.

My mom deals with it a little better cause she knows that i refuse to leave my kids in the dark. i like to answer all questions no matter how difficult it might be for my comfort level. When jewel was about 6 her and marina were visiting with my mom and went to walmart for pads.
while in the store my mom said what else do we need? and jewel said don't forget the pads for marina cause she is bleeding from her vagina......my mom almost died right there in the store. and she got after jewel for using that word.......well jewel told her that was the word mama told them they were supposed to use. my mom prefers to use the word cookie............so if i went by that logic everytime i offered my kids an oreo they might think i was gonna flash them! lol

anyway i went out and told chris and we both had a good laugh over it. that'll teach 'em not to be so nosy...........not really it will probably make them look harder for more interesting things. lol

and there are some new pics in my flickr

another broken toe.......not mine

i think portia broke her pinky toe on her left foot today. grrr i tried to take her to urgent care and they had closed 1/2 an hour before closing time. the lady said "oh well we take our last patient at 8:45..........so bitchy me pointed out that it was only 8:30. she said they closed a little earlier cause they had someone back there that was going to take up the rest of the time before closing...........so what??!! goddess forbid that they wait around to deal with one more patient......oh no gotta leave at 9pm or the world will come crumbling down. losers......i won't be going back.

i'm going to call her pedi in the morning and schedule a time to take her in to have it checked out. they will send us next door to the hospital to have it x-rayed and then we will see what they can do to help her walk around. she is limping pretty badly and she complains that it hurts a lot. i tried to wiggle it and she screamed so i'm guessing it's probably broken. it also looks just like my toe did when i broke it. it is really swollen, very bruised and has a couple of spots that are really dark bruises.

i wrapped her foot in an ace bandage cause don't ya know that is like a giant band-aid for kids and band-aids make everything better. i gave her some ibuprofen and sent her to bed at 9pm. she has not come out complaining yet so it must not hurt too much now. i know that the doctor cannot technically do anything for her if it is broken but maybe she can get a boot so she doesn't bump it into anything.

i also want her to have a note for school because some teachers can be anal retentive huns about sticking to normal p.e. things without a doctors note. somehow a mothers word is never legitimate just some mommy trying to coddle her baby. i've taken my sleeping tablet and it's kicking in so i will try to refrain from totally going off on the public school system. i so want to go back to homeschooling, but chris is still adamantly protesting any idea of it happening right now. only because he thinks my health issues need to be dealt with. maybe when we have a better understanding and it's under control a little better i can go back to homeschooling.

little does he know that i fully intend to homeschool lucien. i cannot imagine sending him off to school alone.....hell i can't even entertain the idea of putting him in mdo a few hours a week. most of the mommies in our playgroup are putting their kids in mdo some as young as 2!! i don't think i could stand to have him gone like that right now. he's my little love bug and i want to keep him hanging on mama's skirt for as long as possible. :)

i'm also still trying to push him to consider a move to kansas or north carolina. i need to be near family i desperately miss them. and i hate that i am not an active part of my neices life.....i've never even had the opportunity to meet her but i love her like she is one of my own kids. i so want to hug her and love on her until she is screaming for me to leave her alone. :)

i spoke with my mother-in-law today and she wants me to push harder for a move to kansas. lol she loves the kids so much and it kills them that they can't be closer to them. i had a breakdown the other day cause i received a letter from chris' grandma fern, i love her so much and have such a deep connection with her. i could spend all my free time with her and never get bored. she always has such great stories to share and she is just fun to be with.

she is 92 now and i worry everyday that she will die and my kids will not have had the opportunity to know her as well as i've come to know her. i want them to know how very deeply she loves them and what a wonderful person she is. but i also want to be near my brothers family, i love his wife so much she is such a wonderful friend.

anytime i'm feeling down or bad i know i can call her and she will lift my spirits. i think it was kismet for her and my brother to meet just so i could have her be a part of my life. now they have my beautiful maggie may and i don't get to love on her. boo hoo........trying not to cry here.

anyway i don't think any moving will be in our near future because i'm pretty certain that chris will be accepting a job offer from another company soon. he went and meet with everyone last week and really felt in his element. it's kinda scary that he will be going to another company but at the same time i want him to be happy. i even told him i didn't care about the money they were offering as long as he enjoys what he does and is happy where he is working that is all that matters to me.

i have lived in some of the rattiest shit holes in this city and was happy as a clam. i could do it again.......although it would be a shell shock for chris and he kids. marina is the only one who ever had to live that way with me.......but look at her now she is just a happy well adjusted teenager. oh not perfect by any means but living in some very questionable housing with very little money did nothing to her happy little spirit she never knew anything about being desperately poor she just knew she was happy and that was all that mattered.

i was so excited because tomorrow chris has the day off and we were supposed to go to ikea. i love that place. we are going to go buy a little table and chairs for lucien. i think it's called the mamut table, it's a quirky little blue table with legs that get wider towards the bottom. someone i know described it as a sort of dr. seuss piece of furniture. :) it was supposed to be one of his birthday presents but we had to put it off until this payday. and soon we will be getting our income tax refund. YAY we have to get new tires for the truck, i'm going to buy a tv for our bedroom and maybe have directv installed on all the tvs.

we were supposed to get at&t u-verse a couple of weeks ago but when the service guy came out he found some problems that prevented us from having it installed that day. we have to run cat5 wire from the attic down into the house so that it can be run to all the tv's. we got lucky and he gave us a bunch of wire to do it with........now the hard part will be actually getting chris to run the damn wire. he did it in our house in worcester through all 4 floors so i know he can do it here but he just never seems to have any free time, so who knows if it will get done. but i desperately need cable in our bedroom since that is where i spend most of my time working now.

so anyway about the guy from my past. i had a weird dream and it prompted me to try and contact mike's younger brother waylon. mike is jewels biological father (sperm donor to me).
he was easy to find cause he is running his own business in california http://haloguitars.com check it out if you have a chance they have some awesome stuff.

while we were chatting he told me that michael had died on november 11, 2006. he was in my opinion murdered by the houston police department. he was pulled over and while they had him face down on the ground they tazered him 9 times..........9 FUCKING times........why would they think that amount of force would be necessary is totally beyond me but definitely not a shock. hpd has been under a lot of fire for excessive use of force and for killing without probable cause.......again i suppose that is just my opinion.

after this attack he slipped into a coma and a week later his organs began to fail so waylon had to make the very tough choice to pull the plug and allow his brother to die. i was very sad to hear of his passing and even sadder to hear how & why he died. he was not a good person to me but i never wished him any ill will and had high hopes that eventually he would come to his senses and turn his life around. i have always felt that everybody no matter what their previous mistakes were always deserves another chance.

waylon said he was trying to find me because he wanted to do right by jewel and pay child support. but i never wanted that from him and didn't care about the money. i just wanted him to be a good positive influence in her life cause no matter what he always loved his children. it is too bad that jewel will never get a chance to get to know him and i will never say anything bad about him to her. i will tell her that he loved and adored her very much but that he just battled personal demons and at the time of his death was trying to find her to be a part of her life. she should know that deep down he could be a wonderful loving person. he made mistakes and bad choices but we all do that, none of us are perfect. once upon i time i loved him very much and i only hope that now he can rest in peace and that he is with his momma & daddy and they are happy together.

the grammys.....

ok so did you watch?? i did with the kids and we had such a good time. we were so happy that amy winehouse did so well cause we all love her. nothing warms a mothers heart to hear your ten your old sing along to back to black.... ;)

i have not watched any music awards shows in so long and this one was just so much fun!! i only watched because i wanted to see amy winehouse perform. if she had been cut i would have missed out on all the other kick ass performers.

oh my gawd it was an 80's revival i loved it. I danced around in my living room like a big 'ol dork right along with tina turner, and morris day and the time. remember that dance? lol of course we also totally cranked the foo fighters cause we LOVE THEM. i so love that whole your not the one but your the only one that can make me feel like shit......had a few of them in my life. lol

i had no idea who else was performing besides amy and was so excited when the other performers were people i loved.......well some of them. don't like kanye and rhianna ruined Jungle love with that umbrella shit. but beyonce kicked ass in her little introduction thing to tina turner and then when she sang proud mary with her that totally rocked.

storms blew through and the power went out......not for long thank goodness.

so anyway i just had the most amazing conversation with someone from my past. i was totally shocked to find him so easily and so glad that we were able to talk. i'm gonna sit for a while and just think about some of the sad news he did share with me and maybe update later.

Spring cleaning

yup the bug bit me in the butt and we are cleaning like crazy. I'm moving my worktables into my bedroom and storing the rest of my crafting junk in the gameroom. jewel is getting her old bedroom back and lucien is moving in with portia. his crib is still in our room and will stay there for a while but all his other belongings will be in the other bedroom. the formal dining room is going to be a toy/play room for the kids. i'm trying to hurry up and do this before tuesday because we are having real cable installed then.

right now we have directv and i hate it so when at&t's uverse became available in our area i signed up for it. yay!! i'm hoping they will be able to install cable on all the tvs cause right now we only have it in the living room so we all have to share. and we don't share very well. lol

i'm going to freecycle all the stuff i find that we no longer need. i think the only reason i'm so energetic this weekend is cause i finally decided to start drinking caffeinated sodas again. i love my dr. pepper and had been drinking the caffeine free. man oh man caffeine is super energy in a little can......yeah maybe it's the injections that i give myself weekly too. hmmm

i also was able to get a different prescription for sleep. the lunesta was just making me suffer the most horrible taste in my mouth all day long. i couldn't take it anymore and called the doctors office to change it. unfortunately i had to have chris take the leftover meds and a note up to the doctors office to get a new one. cause the doctors office is right near where he works.

she prescribed restoril which makes me sleep so good. lunesta sucked!! if i took it and waited to long to go to bed it would wear off and i wouldn't sleep. what's the fucking point in that?? but with the restoril i take it and feel sleepy, i can wait a little while and still sleep so hard. and i can still wake up when lucien wakes up in the middle of the night and then go right back to sleep.

last night i took it and went to bed.....oh i was so comfortable like i was sleeping on a cloud so snug and comfy. love it....but i worry cause i read reviews and there is a huge risk of dependency and if i decide to quit taking it i might have a hard time. but i'm sure my doc will know how to deal with it if the time comes. for now i'm just gonna enjoy the fact that i am getting good sleep.

lucien had his second birthday on wednesday. my little stink bug is getting so big. i have pictures but will have to post them later cause for now i have to get back to cleaning.